every time I start this I get distracted; by what, many things.
Gotta get this outta my head first then current events.
I'm reading this book, Being A Priest today, great book; one problem, can't give you a gist of what I've gleamed so far. It's more feelings than knowledge, I think anyway. Kinda feels like its stashed away to be pulled out (as phrases from Psalms are doing) to be used when I don't have words or - more often than not - I'm joking with the other interns :). Anyway, this book is making me excited, giving me ideas, asking questions, wanting, yearning, needing to go deeper and be apart of this!
I'm in ch6 now, just started it but stopped because I'd read two sections on The Word, preaching and such. That section didn't make me feel inadequate, thank God. Being the only non-religious studies person, I feel a bit lost sometimes, but they're good at giving me enough info to get the main point at least. So anyway, this book hasn't gotten practical - which is what I thought it would do, rather it's connecting concepts together, how we all by virtue of our baptism are already ministers, some are simply called to a specific ministry of presiding, looking over, after, being responsible for others. Then it's been talking about things like regular reading of scripture so that one is nourished and also partaking in the gift of prayer so that one can be in touch with the Holy Spirit and be more able to speak the word of God to, for, and on behalf of his people. That makes me think about something, when I would say the prayers of the people, I was struck very profoundly by the fact that I was speaking aloud the collective concerns of God's people and how important I understood that to be and how right it felt for me to be doing so.
So yeah, I love this book, it's exciting something within me and I like it!
You know I've decided, this should stand alone. Another post later on with current events
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Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Howdy
Hi there folks,
I was asked where my weekly blog post was and realized I had written in my journal but not here.
So let's see... We had two major liturgical days here, All Saints and All Souls.
As I'm sure many of you know All Saints is an important day in the church year- here no exception. A twist came for the worshipers when rather than singing some song about water, the Scola sang a South African freedom song in Ko sa, the native language. It was So much fun to learn, the teaching method used was a nice reminder of my childhood. I didn't learn to read music until high school so I learned everything by call and response. Since this is in another language it was much easier to learn the words by having them repeated over and over. It was me, Rob and Ruben and a girl who volunteers here along with the Brother who's sacristan as well as one of the choir leaders. This brother I didn't know very well and admittedly was a bit nervous around. He's nice just hard for me to relate to, and read by his tone. Now however after spending some quality time with him a bit, I think the wall between us is if not completely down, but maybe easy to climb over.
The song rocked! I had the soprano part which was cool because I had a bit of a solo. Basically I had a bit to sing by myself while everybody else held their note. Ruben & Rob were basses the brother was the tennor and the girl was alto.
It's awesome, not only can I read gregorian chant, we the interns sing a lot of the antiphons with the brothers, in addition to being able to read the hymnal on my iPad, the antiphons in my notebook are 'the exploded ones' :)
So All Souls was pretty awesome too, a brother read the names that had been written down. I know it was over a year ago but I put my grandma's name down and I wasn't sad or whatever when her name was read.
It's been getting dark early here but thankfully we 'fall back' either Saturday or Sunday night. Someone will announce it I'm sure. My box from my parents arrived yesterday. I got my winter gear some different dress clothes, I've got a shirt and a pair of pants, now I can mix them up.
As far as discernment stuff goes, I got a bit more info on the diocesan process- thanks Rob! I also hung out with a nun today! It was a fun two hour conversation. She's a guest who's from England but with a sister convent in New Jersey. She suggested I go home for a bit during my vacation time to see how I feel about going back into what my before-the-monastery routine then transition back here. I'm seriously thinking about when and how I do that. I want to take a bit of time to visit family in the NY/NJ area too as well as check out a convent or two to see how life in community is lived out for nuns. I know that SSJE is not representative of all religious orders and who knows. As I have said and continue to say "where God calls, I go".
Can't think of anything else to talk about... So is there anything you all wish to know? Feel free to leave a comment!
Much love to you all
Nancy & Doc
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I was asked where my weekly blog post was and realized I had written in my journal but not here.
So let's see... We had two major liturgical days here, All Saints and All Souls.
As I'm sure many of you know All Saints is an important day in the church year- here no exception. A twist came for the worshipers when rather than singing some song about water, the Scola sang a South African freedom song in Ko sa, the native language. It was So much fun to learn, the teaching method used was a nice reminder of my childhood. I didn't learn to read music until high school so I learned everything by call and response. Since this is in another language it was much easier to learn the words by having them repeated over and over. It was me, Rob and Ruben and a girl who volunteers here along with the Brother who's sacristan as well as one of the choir leaders. This brother I didn't know very well and admittedly was a bit nervous around. He's nice just hard for me to relate to, and read by his tone. Now however after spending some quality time with him a bit, I think the wall between us is if not completely down, but maybe easy to climb over.
The song rocked! I had the soprano part which was cool because I had a bit of a solo. Basically I had a bit to sing by myself while everybody else held their note. Ruben & Rob were basses the brother was the tennor and the girl was alto.
It's awesome, not only can I read gregorian chant, we the interns sing a lot of the antiphons with the brothers, in addition to being able to read the hymnal on my iPad, the antiphons in my notebook are 'the exploded ones' :)
So All Souls was pretty awesome too, a brother read the names that had been written down. I know it was over a year ago but I put my grandma's name down and I wasn't sad or whatever when her name was read.
It's been getting dark early here but thankfully we 'fall back' either Saturday or Sunday night. Someone will announce it I'm sure. My box from my parents arrived yesterday. I got my winter gear some different dress clothes, I've got a shirt and a pair of pants, now I can mix them up.
As far as discernment stuff goes, I got a bit more info on the diocesan process- thanks Rob! I also hung out with a nun today! It was a fun two hour conversation. She's a guest who's from England but with a sister convent in New Jersey. She suggested I go home for a bit during my vacation time to see how I feel about going back into what my before-the-monastery routine then transition back here. I'm seriously thinking about when and how I do that. I want to take a bit of time to visit family in the NY/NJ area too as well as check out a convent or two to see how life in community is lived out for nuns. I know that SSJE is not representative of all religious orders and who knows. As I have said and continue to say "where God calls, I go".
Can't think of anything else to talk about... So is there anything you all wish to know? Feel free to leave a comment!
Much love to you all
Nancy & Doc
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, October 10, 2011
Just thought I'd say hi
Normally when I do these I have a 'theme' or at least an 'idea' behind why but not really this time.
So when I wrote last I was in the beginning stages of the monastery cold. It has been making it's way through the brothers, think Rob had it but I got it. I don't really know what sort of cold it was I just felt 'bleh' from Thursday around lunch till Sunday morning, maybe a bit Saturday evening.
Either way I feel So much better!
So before Tyler left I was really sad he was leaving but once he was actually gone I was sorta ok with it. I have opinions on that but they are mine and he made his own decision and will have to live with it. Not to say that I've forgotten him, cuz I haven't, I'm just going on I guess.
So I read the old testament lesson at the 9am Sunday Eucharist yesterday. The Superior asked me the night before as we were doing dishes if I have and would I like to. Course I said yes and one of the brothers got a big printed version for me. It was Isaiah 25: 1-9 great sermon! Should be up on the website in a couple days.
This Sabbath has been very restful. We hung out here, hung out in Harvard square a bit today. I got a journal and a pen at the Coop today. I've tried journaling before but disliked the ease at which I could edit myself and how easily it can be deleted. Makes my hand tired but it's good for me I think. Gonna spend a bit more time with VHS 21 and 22 in the rule for class tomorrow.
Apparently the Link I posted didn't work, so go to google- type in SSJE rule of life, PDF. Or you could go to ssje's website and read it there or listen to the brothers read it.
No morning prayer or compline till next Sunday, only 4 brothers here right now and the 3 of us, but I'm still gonna get up at 6:30 or 7 to take the silent hour. I will say after taking my retreat day, I understand the need for silence. I enjoyed it and actually got annoyed when someone wanted to talk to me- particularly if it was about Doc.
I mean, hey, no you can't pet him cause he's working but don't just walk away! I'm interesting too!
Bye for now. All is good I wouldn't be anywhere else :)
Nancy
The bell tower
A bookmark with the worship schedule on it.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
So when I wrote last I was in the beginning stages of the monastery cold. It has been making it's way through the brothers, think Rob had it but I got it. I don't really know what sort of cold it was I just felt 'bleh' from Thursday around lunch till Sunday morning, maybe a bit Saturday evening.
Either way I feel So much better!
So before Tyler left I was really sad he was leaving but once he was actually gone I was sorta ok with it. I have opinions on that but they are mine and he made his own decision and will have to live with it. Not to say that I've forgotten him, cuz I haven't, I'm just going on I guess.
So I read the old testament lesson at the 9am Sunday Eucharist yesterday. The Superior asked me the night before as we were doing dishes if I have and would I like to. Course I said yes and one of the brothers got a big printed version for me. It was Isaiah 25: 1-9 great sermon! Should be up on the website in a couple days.
This Sabbath has been very restful. We hung out here, hung out in Harvard square a bit today. I got a journal and a pen at the Coop today. I've tried journaling before but disliked the ease at which I could edit myself and how easily it can be deleted. Makes my hand tired but it's good for me I think. Gonna spend a bit more time with VHS 21 and 22 in the rule for class tomorrow.
Apparently the Link I posted didn't work, so go to google- type in SSJE rule of life, PDF. Or you could go to ssje's website and read it there or listen to the brothers read it.
No morning prayer or compline till next Sunday, only 4 brothers here right now and the 3 of us, but I'm still gonna get up at 6:30 or 7 to take the silent hour. I will say after taking my retreat day, I understand the need for silence. I enjoyed it and actually got annoyed when someone wanted to talk to me- particularly if it was about Doc.
I mean, hey, no you can't pet him cause he's working but don't just walk away! I'm interesting too!
Bye for now. All is good I wouldn't be anywhere else :)
Nancy
The bell tower
A bookmark with the worship schedule on it.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
So simple, yet not
I hope you all are well on this fine day.
My sabbath time was wonderful. It reminds me strongly of the comrades of spending time with friends in college.
We have dubbed Sunday night, burgers and beer night. After eating healthy all week, it was fun not to. There's just something about laughing and joking over an appetizer and a beer that is just freeing.
If you've known me for five minutes you know my love for, interest in, and curiosity about people. I want to know them, not just who they pretend to be. So observing silence for those on silent retreat is hard for me. Silence during meals is something I'm finding great comfort in. Can't explain it, it's almost a restful, relaxing experience.
This link is important, and explains the next part.
http://www.ssje.org/5.pdf/cowleypdf/SSJE%20Rule%20of%20Life.pdf
Our 'homework' for our meeting this afternoon was to read chapters 21-25 of the rule. I had difficulty at first, but as with many things, it's better to chew smaller bites. Some of my recent FB posts have been either direct quotes or paraphrases from my reading.
This kind of feels like a 'duh' moment for me but perhaps not. I found myself early for noonday prayer Sunday. I'm figuring out that sitting on the floor in the corner is where I feel I can "hang out" with God. I use environmental noise to keep me focused and just chill. I don't have to do or be anything, I am just me. May sound a bit boring, but you'd be surprised. My thought for the day came when, perhaps the Spirit moved but I felt this overwhelming sense of how deeply I love God. I feel like these words feel empty, this feeling was so strong I want to weep all over again. I've never felt this way before, it's almost an expectancy, for what, I don't know, I just know it's there. Not like I have to do something, like something's happening.
I'm out of words for now. Have a good week, share with you soon!
Love Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
My sabbath time was wonderful. It reminds me strongly of the comrades of spending time with friends in college.
We have dubbed Sunday night, burgers and beer night. After eating healthy all week, it was fun not to. There's just something about laughing and joking over an appetizer and a beer that is just freeing.
If you've known me for five minutes you know my love for, interest in, and curiosity about people. I want to know them, not just who they pretend to be. So observing silence for those on silent retreat is hard for me. Silence during meals is something I'm finding great comfort in. Can't explain it, it's almost a restful, relaxing experience.
This link is important, and explains the next part.
http://www.ssje.org/5.pdf/cowleypdf/SSJE%20Rule%20of%20Life.pdf
Our 'homework' for our meeting this afternoon was to read chapters 21-25 of the rule. I had difficulty at first, but as with many things, it's better to chew smaller bites. Some of my recent FB posts have been either direct quotes or paraphrases from my reading.
This kind of feels like a 'duh' moment for me but perhaps not. I found myself early for noonday prayer Sunday. I'm figuring out that sitting on the floor in the corner is where I feel I can "hang out" with God. I use environmental noise to keep me focused and just chill. I don't have to do or be anything, I am just me. May sound a bit boring, but you'd be surprised. My thought for the day came when, perhaps the Spirit moved but I felt this overwhelming sense of how deeply I love God. I feel like these words feel empty, this feeling was so strong I want to weep all over again. I've never felt this way before, it's almost an expectancy, for what, I don't know, I just know it's there. Not like I have to do something, like something's happening.
I'm out of words for now. Have a good week, share with you soon!
Love Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
First full day... Phew
I'm beat!
I hope not all days are This tiring an hopefully I'll sleep all night this time.
A lot happened today. Learned about the structure of SSJE, talked a bit about liturgy, and had another talk later about what we hope to experience. I had a 'duh' moment with that, I realized why I'm here, to find peace- The still small voice of God in the silence, and to test my vocation. I didn't have words for this really, until that conversation.
A couple cool things on a long list, we started 'silent meals' today. There's music and maybe a book read during the meal. At lunch the weirdness almost overtook me, but thankfully I reigned myself in. Dinner I noticed a 'comfort' in the community of the silence, cool eh?
We also got our stalls today- hold your livestock jokes if you will please :)
Our stall is where we sit in choir. We each have an office book with our names on them, and a hymnal. The only service not in there is Eucharist, I cant remember why. Liturgy is different here, not sure if I can explain how but maybe eventually.
We also took a walk today, poured the entire time but Doc and I had raincoats and I survived sans my rain boots, no soggy tennis shoes thanks be to God.
I think that's it in a nutshell. Think we're going to Emmory House tomorrow. Another new adventure.
Night and many blessings to you all.
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I hope not all days are This tiring an hopefully I'll sleep all night this time.
A lot happened today. Learned about the structure of SSJE, talked a bit about liturgy, and had another talk later about what we hope to experience. I had a 'duh' moment with that, I realized why I'm here, to find peace- The still small voice of God in the silence, and to test my vocation. I didn't have words for this really, until that conversation.
A couple cool things on a long list, we started 'silent meals' today. There's music and maybe a book read during the meal. At lunch the weirdness almost overtook me, but thankfully I reigned myself in. Dinner I noticed a 'comfort' in the community of the silence, cool eh?
We also got our stalls today- hold your livestock jokes if you will please :)
Our stall is where we sit in choir. We each have an office book with our names on them, and a hymnal. The only service not in there is Eucharist, I cant remember why. Liturgy is different here, not sure if I can explain how but maybe eventually.
We also took a walk today, poured the entire time but Doc and I had raincoats and I survived sans my rain boots, no soggy tennis shoes thanks be to God.
I think that's it in a nutshell. Think we're going to Emmory House tomorrow. Another new adventure.
Night and many blessings to you all.
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Memorial Dr,Cambridge,United States
Day 2- up early
I'll probably do another one. Still no Internet for now, so there will be a bunch at once.
I woke up at 4- why you ask, Doc moved and I needed to eh, you know.
I couldn't go back to sleep, so after tossing and turning for about an hour I got up, dressed and went to morning prayer.
That is, well I don't have words for that. Not able to fully participate yet, but I'm patient.
I'm just kinda hangin out for now.
I've heard incense spoken about with scorn not sure why but I don't mind it. Makes my vision even more blurry but at least I'm not the only one!
The silence here is heavy, especially before now. I'm in the GH common room and it's been raining slot here so you hear the traffic and the water out the window.
Think I'm going to go find the guest house guy, he was an intern here from feb or Jan to june, cool guy. Sounds like folks are waking up.
Later for now,
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I woke up at 4- why you ask, Doc moved and I needed to eh, you know.
I couldn't go back to sleep, so after tossing and turning for about an hour I got up, dressed and went to morning prayer.
That is, well I don't have words for that. Not able to fully participate yet, but I'm patient.
I'm just kinda hangin out for now.
I've heard incense spoken about with scorn not sure why but I don't mind it. Makes my vision even more blurry but at least I'm not the only one!
The silence here is heavy, especially before now. I'm in the GH common room and it's been raining slot here so you hear the traffic and the water out the window.
Think I'm going to go find the guest house guy, he was an intern here from feb or Jan to june, cool guy. Sounds like folks are waking up.
Later for now,
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:SSJE, Boston
What a Long and Full day
I am exhausted, it has been a Long day.
Where to start...
Let me start by saying, there is so much to say and I am so tired that I may just post what I get to, then write more in the morning.
I've been up since 4:45 and had a cup of coffee on the plane this morning and a cup of tea this afternoon.
It was raining in Spartanburg this morning when I left- which was at about 8. We got to the airport at 9-ish and it was pretty cool because both my parents hung out with me at the gate, but we all had to go through security, which wasn't That bad I thought.
I boarded about 11 and we took off at 11:15. Interestingly, they had to put someone beside me in our 2-person row. I took Doc's harness off so he'd be comfortable. I was a bit cramped, but he was happy. I don't even want to fathom what not-flying up front would feel like, ouch.
My flight arrived 15 mins early and I was first off. The guy at the gate took me to baggage claim where some amazing staff took me to a dog relieving spot and even got my bag for me. Turns out I had to take a cab to the monastery- never done so with a dog before. Expensive! $31, the toll was $7. The monastery is going to reimburse me for that. Oh my bag, just under the limit, 47.8lbs.
I get here and I arrive just as a few others do. So I get taken on a tour. This place is confusing! Because of fire codes, there are doors everywhere! So far I know how to get to the bathroom, the kitchen in the guesthouse, the gh common room and the gh dining room. Getting to the chapel and refectory is still a bit confusing but I'll have it in a few days.
We've had Eucharist dinner and Compline so far and we hung out a bit before-hand. There's a lot of still working out the bugs to do, but that's always true with new situations. It's a bit surreal to be here. I found myself looking around a lot during Eucharist. Br Geoffrey delivered a great sermon on Vocation. I truly believe this is where I'm meant to be right now.
Interesting note, one of the interns I thought was a guy, nope, so that means two girls at Emmory House and me and Ruben Tyler and somebody I can't remember here. The guys are on the 3rd floor, I'm on the 2nd. I'm in this little corridor where it's my room and a two room suite. Apparently Bishops stay there or families, so it's apparently really quiet over here.
I'm tired. Think that's enough to get along with. Don't call me, I'll call you.
Love me and Doc
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Where to start...
Let me start by saying, there is so much to say and I am so tired that I may just post what I get to, then write more in the morning.
I've been up since 4:45 and had a cup of coffee on the plane this morning and a cup of tea this afternoon.
It was raining in Spartanburg this morning when I left- which was at about 8. We got to the airport at 9-ish and it was pretty cool because both my parents hung out with me at the gate, but we all had to go through security, which wasn't That bad I thought.
I boarded about 11 and we took off at 11:15. Interestingly, they had to put someone beside me in our 2-person row. I took Doc's harness off so he'd be comfortable. I was a bit cramped, but he was happy. I don't even want to fathom what not-flying up front would feel like, ouch.
My flight arrived 15 mins early and I was first off. The guy at the gate took me to baggage claim where some amazing staff took me to a dog relieving spot and even got my bag for me. Turns out I had to take a cab to the monastery- never done so with a dog before. Expensive! $31, the toll was $7. The monastery is going to reimburse me for that. Oh my bag, just under the limit, 47.8lbs.
I get here and I arrive just as a few others do. So I get taken on a tour. This place is confusing! Because of fire codes, there are doors everywhere! So far I know how to get to the bathroom, the kitchen in the guesthouse, the gh common room and the gh dining room. Getting to the chapel and refectory is still a bit confusing but I'll have it in a few days.
We've had Eucharist dinner and Compline so far and we hung out a bit before-hand. There's a lot of still working out the bugs to do, but that's always true with new situations. It's a bit surreal to be here. I found myself looking around a lot during Eucharist. Br Geoffrey delivered a great sermon on Vocation. I truly believe this is where I'm meant to be right now.
Interesting note, one of the interns I thought was a guy, nope, so that means two girls at Emmory House and me and Ruben Tyler and somebody I can't remember here. The guys are on the 3rd floor, I'm on the 2nd. I'm in this little corridor where it's my room and a two room suite. Apparently Bishops stay there or families, so it's apparently really quiet over here.
I'm tired. Think that's enough to get along with. Don't call me, I'll call you.
Love me and Doc
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:SSJE, Boston
Friday, August 5, 2011
Almost A month away
Hi folks,
Things are starting to go faster, at least that's what it feels like!
A month from tomorrow, I will be leaving Spartanburg, South Carolina and arriving by plane in Boston, Massachusetts, wow.
Between those two dates I have many things to do; pick up my new glasses from lens crafters, go shopping for casual shirts and jeans - most of them have paint on them from my time in theater, get a pair of hiking-esque boots to keep my feet warm and dry, good pair of gloves, and just double-check what I have and start packing. Doc's had his check-up and despite his being pudgy-me too, he's ready to fly! I booked my flight on Wednesday and once I arrive at the JetBlue desk at Charlotte airport, airport staff is going to take over.
As it gets closer, I'll send Br Mark my flight number, etc.
Had more I wanted to rant about, but I'll do that in my journal instead.
I'll keep you updated!
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Things are starting to go faster, at least that's what it feels like!
A month from tomorrow, I will be leaving Spartanburg, South Carolina and arriving by plane in Boston, Massachusetts, wow.
Between those two dates I have many things to do; pick up my new glasses from lens crafters, go shopping for casual shirts and jeans - most of them have paint on them from my time in theater, get a pair of hiking-esque boots to keep my feet warm and dry, good pair of gloves, and just double-check what I have and start packing. Doc's had his check-up and despite his being pudgy-me too, he's ready to fly! I booked my flight on Wednesday and once I arrive at the JetBlue desk at Charlotte airport, airport staff is going to take over.
As it gets closer, I'll send Br Mark my flight number, etc.
Had more I wanted to rant about, but I'll do that in my journal instead.
I'll keep you updated!
Nancy
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A new perspective on things
Hi folks,
So yeah, it's been a Long time since I've updated this. I can't begin to tell you what's happened between now and then but what's happened in the past four or five hours is what I'd like to chat about, then an update on my progress toward Boston.
So today is Wednesday(Happy hump day!) anyway... What that means for me is that I normally go to the Food Pantry at St. Matthew's to help give food to folks who visit us. I've been doing this for a while and there are a lot of people I don't remember but they remember me, but today I saw a lady who I first met a few months ago. She was "goin through some stuff" with her family and I thought about her often. It was nice to see her, the last few times she's been in, I've taken her around. Today I just happened to see her as she was leaving and asked how she was and how her family was. I will admit, her name escapes me, even when I saw her today, I couldn't remember what her name was. It was nice to see her and see how she was doing.
For the past month or so we've been having difficulties with the AC in the gym at St. Matts. You know it's hot when going outside feels cool! I discovered from last week that water doesn't really help that and surviving that, so this week I got a bottle of Gatorade (thanks to Chelsea) and that seemed to work a bit better.
We were finished with the pantry at about 5:15 and I had an appointment with Fr Rob at 5:30. Between those times I got together with Mary Margaret and we read over the liturgy for tonight's Wednesday night Healing Service. Mary Margaret is sort of in charge of the folks who do things during the liturgy (read the lessons, are eucharistic visitors, etc.) tonight she was scheduled to do the Homily. I don't know the difference between a Homily and a Sermon but it's kind of the same idea, I think. I work with MaryMargaret sometimes during the services, I read the prayers of the people or I read the lessons sometimes and I mentioned the idea that I'd like to be more involved, I like to try more new things.
So since she was already on the schedule she got approval from Rob for me to be part of the liturgy too. Tonight I got a chance to be the person who read almost everything except for the gospel, Homily and officiate the communion. Father Rob and Mary Margaret did those things. The other really neat part that I haven't really done before was I wore an Alb (which is Latin for the word White BTW, Thanks Father Rob). I've never worn one before, they feel like they're made of polyester, and I'm not sure if they're supposed to be short or not but mine was above my ankels and about an inch or two above my wrists. I would also describe them as hard to put on, you have to find these snaps that are somewhere in the fabric on each shoulder (one snap on the left shoulder and two snaps on the right) it's hard to find the snaps. I'm pretty sure it'd be easier once you wear one more. So, needless to say, the alb is HOT! Thank God I had shorts and short sleeves on. I bet folks are dieing when it's winter time.
But all that aside, being up there was a totally different perspective. I've been in choirs before so it wasn't so much being up there in front of everybody, it was I was up there for a different purpose. It's a little scary to know that everybody's waiting on me to do the next thing. I did great though, missed a really important "not" in there somewhere, but I'm sure God get's the point and won't hold it against me.
Another thing about the perspective being different, during the blessing of communion, I stood behind the altar. I had told Rob earlier that I wasn't sure what to do during communion, I was expecting to just sort of stand in my spot while that happened but he told me to come stand next to him behind the altar. That was different! According to MM (her name's long) that doesn't normally happen, normally lay folks (I think she used a different term) normally stand further back but she thought that maybe Rob wanted me up there so I could see what was going on. The only thing I can say about that is... Words fail to adequately describe this but I was struck by the fact that something Holy was happening, and I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open the entire time. (caught myself a few times and remembered to close it but not the entire time) I can't really describe that other than wow. Then Rob gives himself communion (that kinda seemed sad to me, you don't get that connection with another person when you have to give it to yourself) then he gives MM and I the bread and the wine, then he told me to go back to my seat while he gave the bread and MM gave the wine.
I can't tell you how many times I've had communion over the years probably up to a thousand by now I'd say, but I've never really had the opportunity to watch people receiving communion before, that was another mouth hanging open experience. I can't really say what about it was different about it, but wow. Maybe it's cuz I could see people receiving it and the various things they do but it was kind of amazing.
I didn't know that a prayer is said before the folks process and I have to say, that prayer helped my nervousness to disappear, I wish prayers were said before a lot of other things that I've done!
There is so much more I want to say but I'm tired of typing and may have more thoughts later.
Bye for now
So yeah, it's been a Long time since I've updated this. I can't begin to tell you what's happened between now and then but what's happened in the past four or five hours is what I'd like to chat about, then an update on my progress toward Boston.
So today is Wednesday(Happy hump day!) anyway... What that means for me is that I normally go to the Food Pantry at St. Matthew's to help give food to folks who visit us. I've been doing this for a while and there are a lot of people I don't remember but they remember me, but today I saw a lady who I first met a few months ago. She was "goin through some stuff" with her family and I thought about her often. It was nice to see her, the last few times she's been in, I've taken her around. Today I just happened to see her as she was leaving and asked how she was and how her family was. I will admit, her name escapes me, even when I saw her today, I couldn't remember what her name was. It was nice to see her and see how she was doing.
For the past month or so we've been having difficulties with the AC in the gym at St. Matts. You know it's hot when going outside feels cool! I discovered from last week that water doesn't really help that and surviving that, so this week I got a bottle of Gatorade (thanks to Chelsea) and that seemed to work a bit better.
We were finished with the pantry at about 5:15 and I had an appointment with Fr Rob at 5:30. Between those times I got together with Mary Margaret and we read over the liturgy for tonight's Wednesday night Healing Service. Mary Margaret is sort of in charge of the folks who do things during the liturgy (read the lessons, are eucharistic visitors, etc.) tonight she was scheduled to do the Homily. I don't know the difference between a Homily and a Sermon but it's kind of the same idea, I think. I work with MaryMargaret sometimes during the services, I read the prayers of the people or I read the lessons sometimes and I mentioned the idea that I'd like to be more involved, I like to try more new things.
So since she was already on the schedule she got approval from Rob for me to be part of the liturgy too. Tonight I got a chance to be the person who read almost everything except for the gospel, Homily and officiate the communion. Father Rob and Mary Margaret did those things. The other really neat part that I haven't really done before was I wore an Alb (which is Latin for the word White BTW, Thanks Father Rob). I've never worn one before, they feel like they're made of polyester, and I'm not sure if they're supposed to be short or not but mine was above my ankels and about an inch or two above my wrists. I would also describe them as hard to put on, you have to find these snaps that are somewhere in the fabric on each shoulder (one snap on the left shoulder and two snaps on the right) it's hard to find the snaps. I'm pretty sure it'd be easier once you wear one more. So, needless to say, the alb is HOT! Thank God I had shorts and short sleeves on. I bet folks are dieing when it's winter time.
But all that aside, being up there was a totally different perspective. I've been in choirs before so it wasn't so much being up there in front of everybody, it was I was up there for a different purpose. It's a little scary to know that everybody's waiting on me to do the next thing. I did great though, missed a really important "not" in there somewhere, but I'm sure God get's the point and won't hold it against me.
Another thing about the perspective being different, during the blessing of communion, I stood behind the altar. I had told Rob earlier that I wasn't sure what to do during communion, I was expecting to just sort of stand in my spot while that happened but he told me to come stand next to him behind the altar. That was different! According to MM (her name's long) that doesn't normally happen, normally lay folks (I think she used a different term) normally stand further back but she thought that maybe Rob wanted me up there so I could see what was going on. The only thing I can say about that is... Words fail to adequately describe this but I was struck by the fact that something Holy was happening, and I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open the entire time. (caught myself a few times and remembered to close it but not the entire time) I can't really describe that other than wow. Then Rob gives himself communion (that kinda seemed sad to me, you don't get that connection with another person when you have to give it to yourself) then he gives MM and I the bread and the wine, then he told me to go back to my seat while he gave the bread and MM gave the wine.
I can't tell you how many times I've had communion over the years probably up to a thousand by now I'd say, but I've never really had the opportunity to watch people receiving communion before, that was another mouth hanging open experience. I can't really say what about it was different about it, but wow. Maybe it's cuz I could see people receiving it and the various things they do but it was kind of amazing.
I didn't know that a prayer is said before the folks process and I have to say, that prayer helped my nervousness to disappear, I wish prayers were said before a lot of other things that I've done!
There is so much more I want to say but I'm tired of typing and may have more thoughts later.
Bye for now
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Hey!
Ok folks, before you ask... yes I know it's almost 4 in the morning.
My creative brain sort of ran away with me and I am So about to go to sleep!
Anyways, I am about to go to bed... But before I do that, I wanted to tell you about my new blog!
The address for said blog is monastic-internship-nancy.blogspot.com.
Yes it's long but hopefully makes sense. Probably could've done without the dashes, but oh well.
Second bit of info I'd like to share is something I'm not really sure how to share...
It's a gift that has been given to me by the parish in Rock Hill that I went to while in college. A few weeks ago, I heard that their Vestry was being asked on my behalf to help with travel expenses, which would be absolutely amazing since that's a problem for me.
I pondered this for a while before I sent an email to the Senior Warden (kind of like the chairman) about the possibility of their helping me purchase an ipad. It's something I'd been dreaming about for a while for a lot of reasons, most notably I've found apps that are church related that worked well on my ipod but would be even better to work with on a larger screen and secondly the brothers at the monastery have their daily offices already in electronic files and they were willing to blow them up and print them for me. they're about 30 pages or so and I couldn't justify printing that many pages every day four or five times a day. So I proposed the ipad. The great part is that they approved it and as we speak, or write/read, the various parts that belong to the ipad are making their ways from various places in the world to be deposited on my front porch in the next week or two.
The reason I said I had a hard time talking about this is because I am thankful, more than words can say, but I don't want to gloat, but at the same time I also want them to know how greatful I am. So, I figured I'd start with this. Beyond my close family, there aren't too many people who know and my audience for this is relatively small. So there you go, my big secret... kind of.
It's not a secret, just not sure what to say/do.
So, all of that being said, I'm going to post in my new blog sometime tomorrow. and some of you guys I put in my email alert list. This blogger thing is fun!
All right,
I'm going to bed now.
Love,
Nancy
My creative brain sort of ran away with me and I am So about to go to sleep!
Anyways, I am about to go to bed... But before I do that, I wanted to tell you about my new blog!
The address for said blog is monastic-internship-nancy.blogspot.com.
Yes it's long but hopefully makes sense. Probably could've done without the dashes, but oh well.
Second bit of info I'd like to share is something I'm not really sure how to share...
It's a gift that has been given to me by the parish in Rock Hill that I went to while in college. A few weeks ago, I heard that their Vestry was being asked on my behalf to help with travel expenses, which would be absolutely amazing since that's a problem for me.
I pondered this for a while before I sent an email to the Senior Warden (kind of like the chairman) about the possibility of their helping me purchase an ipad. It's something I'd been dreaming about for a while for a lot of reasons, most notably I've found apps that are church related that worked well on my ipod but would be even better to work with on a larger screen and secondly the brothers at the monastery have their daily offices already in electronic files and they were willing to blow them up and print them for me. they're about 30 pages or so and I couldn't justify printing that many pages every day four or five times a day. So I proposed the ipad. The great part is that they approved it and as we speak, or write/read, the various parts that belong to the ipad are making their ways from various places in the world to be deposited on my front porch in the next week or two.
The reason I said I had a hard time talking about this is because I am thankful, more than words can say, but I don't want to gloat, but at the same time I also want them to know how greatful I am. So, I figured I'd start with this. Beyond my close family, there aren't too many people who know and my audience for this is relatively small. So there you go, my big secret... kind of.
It's not a secret, just not sure what to say/do.
So, all of that being said, I'm going to post in my new blog sometime tomorrow. and some of you guys I put in my email alert list. This blogger thing is fun!
All right,
I'm going to bed now.
Love,
Nancy
Friday, May 27, 2011
Little tid bits and went to an Ordination
Hey folks,
So the past few weeks have been fairly quiet here.
Last Saturday, I went with the folks from St. Matthew's to the Ordination of my friend Pat Gotattus. (I probably spelled that wrong...) Anyway, it was an awesome day, pretty exhausting but lots of fun. The car trip was entertaining to say the least. :) I rode to and from Columbia with my friend Michelle and her two boys Hank and William. It was a good thing I had Angry Birds on my ipod or I think someone may have self-destructed, lol. Probably not, but hey it gave them something to do.
The service was awesome! All of the pomp and circumstance that originally attracted me to the Episcopal church plus more! I'd never smelled incense before. I'm glad I did because judging from photos and videos I've seen on the monastery, incense is a rather common thing, particularly at the eucharist (communion).
Speaking of the monastery, I got another email from the intern's director. I now know the names of the other interns. I tried looking them up on facebook but some of them have very popular names so since mine is rather unique, I'll let them find me. The great part is that I'm not going to be the only girl! I don't know why that made me so happy but to know that there's someone who goes through some of the same things as I do is nice. It turns out there are going to be two other girls, they actually split the interns half and half. Cassandra and Tedi are going to be the interns at Emmory House, and Rob, Alexis, Tyler and I are going to be the interns at the monastery. In the email we got, Mark said that we're going to all be at the monastery in Cambridge for a few days of orientation and adjusting, then we're all going to go to Emmory House for a day or possibly more, I don't remember, but Tedi and Cassandra are going to stay there.
Something else that is interesting, Mark said that "if we happened to have a black cassok that fits us we may want to bring it" otherwise they have some we can wear. I donno, I kind of found it funny, why would we have a black cassok? lol.
So anyways, on top of that, I decided that I need money, that being said I called the movie theater this morning and pending approval from the General Manager, who is not the same person as it was when i was there, I may find myself working at the movie theater once more. It's not what I want to do but I figure, I need the money, I'm going to keep some of it for myself and give the rest to my parents, they feed me after-all, for free. I probably won't be able to work much because of social security and such, but getting paid will be nice. Money for flight and hopefully getting myself an ipad.
I've played with a friend's kindle and it works... but for me, it seems a bit impractical. I need the words to be so big that there's only like three or four words on the screen at a time. I figure with the ipad, I'll have a bigger space to work with.
I've also got an eye doctor's appointment on the 14th and I want to talk about the possibility of glasses. It'd be nice for things to not have to be 32 font and my not having to squint so much.
So, other than that, there's not much happening here.
Hugs to you all!
Nancy
So the past few weeks have been fairly quiet here.
Last Saturday, I went with the folks from St. Matthew's to the Ordination of my friend Pat Gotattus. (I probably spelled that wrong...) Anyway, it was an awesome day, pretty exhausting but lots of fun. The car trip was entertaining to say the least. :) I rode to and from Columbia with my friend Michelle and her two boys Hank and William. It was a good thing I had Angry Birds on my ipod or I think someone may have self-destructed, lol. Probably not, but hey it gave them something to do.
The service was awesome! All of the pomp and circumstance that originally attracted me to the Episcopal church plus more! I'd never smelled incense before. I'm glad I did because judging from photos and videos I've seen on the monastery, incense is a rather common thing, particularly at the eucharist (communion).
Speaking of the monastery, I got another email from the intern's director. I now know the names of the other interns. I tried looking them up on facebook but some of them have very popular names so since mine is rather unique, I'll let them find me. The great part is that I'm not going to be the only girl! I don't know why that made me so happy but to know that there's someone who goes through some of the same things as I do is nice. It turns out there are going to be two other girls, they actually split the interns half and half. Cassandra and Tedi are going to be the interns at Emmory House, and Rob, Alexis, Tyler and I are going to be the interns at the monastery. In the email we got, Mark said that we're going to all be at the monastery in Cambridge for a few days of orientation and adjusting, then we're all going to go to Emmory House for a day or possibly more, I don't remember, but Tedi and Cassandra are going to stay there.
Something else that is interesting, Mark said that "if we happened to have a black cassok that fits us we may want to bring it" otherwise they have some we can wear. I donno, I kind of found it funny, why would we have a black cassok? lol.
So anyways, on top of that, I decided that I need money, that being said I called the movie theater this morning and pending approval from the General Manager, who is not the same person as it was when i was there, I may find myself working at the movie theater once more. It's not what I want to do but I figure, I need the money, I'm going to keep some of it for myself and give the rest to my parents, they feed me after-all, for free. I probably won't be able to work much because of social security and such, but getting paid will be nice. Money for flight and hopefully getting myself an ipad.
I've played with a friend's kindle and it works... but for me, it seems a bit impractical. I need the words to be so big that there's only like three or four words on the screen at a time. I figure with the ipad, I'll have a bigger space to work with.
I've also got an eye doctor's appointment on the 14th and I want to talk about the possibility of glasses. It'd be nice for things to not have to be 32 font and my not having to squint so much.
So, other than that, there's not much happening here.
Hugs to you all!
Nancy
Monday, May 9, 2011
Great News!
Hi guys!
So, it's amazing what can happen in a few days.
I've been talking about the internship up at the monastery in Cambridge, well... I Got It!!! I'm SO excited.
The internship starts september 6 and goes through May 30. I get two weeks off for vacation (probably use that during Christmas time), Mondays are sabbath days at the monastery, we can go do things if we want to. There is also one day a month for retreat. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I'm not going to worry about it for now.
My logistical brain has already started to kick in. We (the interns director- Mark) and I discovered that there is a Petsmart not far from the monastery, so having access to stuff for Doc will not be a problem. Because Boston is a Long ways from here, Doc and I are going to fly. I've looked into one-way flights, and a flight from GSP (Greenville/Spartanburg International) is $119, with like $35 in taxes and stuff and to check a bag is $15, so It'll be about $175 just to be safe. We could investigate taking a train, but my concern with that, is Doc being able to relieve himself.
My parents are glad for me, but my mom is a little bit freaked out I think. A Big difference from this and Winthrop, is that at school they could easily come up there if the need presented itself. Boston, that's not an option. One thing really exciting, is that there is a cousin of my dad's who lives in Rhode Island but is about half an hour from Boston, so a potential emergency contact, or simply another person to go visit on my sabbath day.
I've been working with my dad on building a building for the company my mom works for, american train company. We're building a train station. It's 4ftx4ft by 10 or 12ft tall with the roof on, and we're going to be painting it this week and installing it on sunday. We're getting paid for it. I'm earning $15 for it, and my dad has estimated 20 working hours. I'm pretty sure we're close to 16 now and that was just the building of it. There's no telling how long painting will take.
So the money I get from that is going to be saved, I'll probably use it for my flight, but I'm thinking of getting either a kindle or possibly an ipad. I can see how either would be a good tool for me to have during my internship, but I am also considering taking my laptop, so I'm not really sure what I'm going to do yet. I'm going to wait for a while.
There's a possibility of our building more of these train stations, so I may wait until augast. I know I need to get a warmer weather jacket and some good gloves and a scarf. I've already got those yellow rubber boots, and I'll probably just invest in lots of warm wool socks.
It's going to be a big adventure, and I'm So excited.
The picture is of the chapel. I'm not sure if its facing toward the back or the front, I think it's the back. go to www.ssje.org there are Lots of amazing pictures, there's even a 360 degree chapel tour and you can zoom around outside the monastery too, it's lots of fun.
Hug to you all,
Nancy
PS: If it's allowed, I think I'm going to create a blog specific to my time at the monastery. Due to confidentiality concerns, I have to sign something like a non-disclosure, which is totally fine, I can respect and understand the need for privacy. I would however like to share pictures and stuff with family and friends. I think that'll be possible, it's just a matter of figuring out how to walk that line. We shall see, and I'll keep you posted on my preparations and whatever else happens this summer.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Holy Week- A Recap, An Immersion in Specticle
Hi guys!
I have no idea if I've posted about this or not but I'm going to start with Palm Sunday and work my way through Easter.
I think in this last week I've come to fully understand how my background in theatrical studies in college and my experiences in the church are beginning to collide. At first I was wondering why it was that the Passion story was being read over and over again, but what I came to realize over the course of the week is that on different days, different elements of the story are brought to the forefront and are expounded upon. The specticle is what does it also, that focusing on a single moment in story is also shown through specticle.
It starts on Palm Sunday, we as the congregants get to participate in Jesus' coming to Jerusalem by the joyous singing and the waving of palm frawns. I got the opportunity to read during the service. I had a part in the story of the passion as well as reading the Old Testament and Epistle lessons.
The week continues with the service of Tenebrae. I didn't know what this service was all about so I looked it up on Wikipedia before I went. Sure, it's not a good source to use for a paper, but for general information I don't worry about it; if I want to learn more, I'll search some other places.
This service is once more a reading of the Passion story, but what happens this time is that as the piece of scripture is read, the reader snuffs out a candle. At the conclusion of all the readings, all of the candles are extinguished and the chapel is darkened. Then to increase the sense of disquiet, Rob-the priest, turned off most of the lights as he left the room, thus leaving us in almost darkness, and unlike most services I've been to, the congregation leaves in complete silence.
The service continues the next day with the last supper. Maundy thursday is when we get to participate in the great gift that Christ gave his disciples. He washed their feet and broke bread and drank wine with them. So in this service we are given the same opportunities. I've had my feet washed before- last spring at Vocare, but this time the opportunity was extended for us to share the experience with someone else, we had the opportunity to was their feet. I went up and Father Rob washed my feet, and at the conclusion I leaned forward and said that I would like the opportunity to do that for someone else. So he told me to switch places with him and he told me what to do and where things were located. I had the joy of getting to wash my friend Louise's feet. I was honored to get to do that for her. I looked up at her and noticed that she started to cry, but apparently, she wasn't the only one. Before I went up to get my feet washed, I asked my mom whether she wanted to go or not. She initally said no but apparently at the sight of my doing so for another person, she started to cry and she decided that she wanted to get her feet washed as well. After that was finished, we shared in the last supper by taking communion. Another poignient point of specticle comes after communion, at the end of the service there is the "stripping of the altar". I didn't know what this was going to be like and was shocked to see what happened next. The stripping of the altar is supposed to represent the stripping and beating of Jesus so to quote Rob, "It's not done with kid gloves." Rob and Pat- St. Matthew's candidate for the Diaconate did it. They took the candles off and abruptly handed them to a large group of people. Then Rob grabbed the fare linen and practically tore it from the table and tossed it to one of the folks in the group that are set to receive the things that came from the altar. At the conclusion, the altar is completely bare and the crosses that have had a red cloth or something on them are draped in a black veil. Needless to say I sat there with my mouth open in shock and tears running down my face. If Holy Week is full of symbols to help us better understand the reality of what happened, then that certainly did it for me.
The next day was Good Friday, the name is kind of ironic I think because on that day Christ was beaten, made to literally walk to his own death, willingly submit to what they were doing and suffered in agony while being hung by his hands and feet to slowly suffocate to death.
Early in the day, about noon, there is a service called the Solelm Collects. I wasn't able to go to that service, but I looked it up in the BCP that I've got on my ipod and listened to it. I will be honest I don't remember much of what it was about, to be honest, I think I was still in shock from what had happened the night before.
Later that evening we had the Stations of the Cross. I learned a lot that day, in the Catholic Church, they traditionally have 14 stations, with the last 5 being in one church in Jerusalem, the Church of the Holy Sepulcre (my spelling is bad I know). So at St. Matthew's we only had 8 Stations.
I had the opportunity during the stations to read one. It was another good example of Specticle, we literally carried the cross from one location to another, and this was a Big cross. I have no idea how big it actually was but it was big and looked heavy.
At the end of the service we all gathered around the altar and knelt before it. The altar was still bare and the cross was laid before it.
The next day was Saturday and there weren't any services going on here but I found myself thinking a lot that day about what Easter was going to be like and how it was going to be different.
Then there was Easter. I am ashamed to say that I did not make it to the Easter Services that day. I could not sleep to save my life and the longer I found myself awake, the more frustrated I became, and it was a viscious cycle of lack of sleep and frustration. I finally fell asleep at about 7 or so that morning. When I woke up, it was to a text message from Father Rob. He asked if I was ok and when I said I was he said that it was a shame to miss Easter. I was So frustrated with myself! I've worked so hard during Lent, trying new things, experiencing new things and working on my relationship with God. So to not be there on the day when the celebration is to be had, kind of leaves me feeling empty on the inside.
So Holy Week this year has been a very enriching experience. I've never experienced Holy Week before and I'm glad that I've had this experience, even if I didn't get to the last service.
So I get it, I understand how why Specticle is so important during Holy Week. It uses different techniques and different services to bring out specific things in order to impact the emotions of those who experience those things. I don't think my understanding of Easter is ever going to be the same again, and I'm glad.
Thanks guys for reading this and I hope that you all had a Happy Easter with your families.
PS: the Pictures are:
The candle is to represent the service of Tenabrae
The next picture is of the stations of the cross. In that picture I'm reading (bottom right hand corner of the picture)
The last picture is of the bare altar with the cross in front of it.
Nancy
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
SSJE Conversation #2 and this week
Hi guys,
So, I just hung up with Brothers Mark and Geoffrey from SSJE. Mark is the Interns Director whom I have spoken with before and Brother Geoffrey is a really nice person with a distinctive British accent.
That conversation was a lot of fun. Evidently I said a lot of things without realizing that I said them..? I have a tendency to do that I think...
We talked about some of the things that attracted me to the internship. Some of them are the structured way of living and the aspect of the entire community's purpose being the will of God and providing their guests the space they need to experience that for themselves as well as their ministry to the large number of young adults in the area. Another aspect that intrigues me is the opportunity to look past those pre-conceived notions about folks who go to Harvard and MIT etc., and be able to look past them and see who these people are as students.
We then went on to discuss what I thought my gifts and skills are. I know that I have this ability to get to know people on a deeper level than I initially intend, and it has been said to me that I have the gift of Evangelism. Frankly, in college it was inviting people to be open to the idea and also including that we had food. College students go for that, especially if its free.
I asked for clarification on how the interactions between the guests and the brothers differ from the relationship that the interns have with the brothers. Evidently, it's kind of obvious but for some reason I didn't really get it; the guests don't really have much to do with what's going on. They're there for quiet time and worship and potentially some spiritual direction whereas the interns are helping with the behind-the-scenes work. I've always enjoyed that aspect of things, it gives me a depth of understanding on how things work and for some reason it makes it that much more special.
The one thing I thought that would be the most difficult for me in-terms of the monastic way of living is all of the quiet time with nothing to do. Evidently as an intern, I won't have many times where there's absolutely nothing to do, but I gather there will be periods of silence.
I may be reading too much into this, but I think Br Geoffrey in-particular liked a lot of what I had to say.
Now onto the rest of my life, lol.
Needless to say, my Lenten experiment hasn't particularly failed but let's just say that I probably tried too much too soon, especially since I was doing it by myself and didn't really have any accountability. For some reason, I find I need that...
The one thing I was able to hold onto was that of Evening Prayer. Morning prayer on the other-hand... I completely messed up my sleeping schedule so I was Way off. So Morning Prayer practically has been non-existant for the last two or three weeks.
Because I had this phone call this morning, I was able to drag myself out of bed at 8. But I'm noticing that I'm getting sleepy...
So, this is Holy Week. If your FB friends of mine, you'll notice my profile picture. I like it. I'm looking forward to the Lenten services this week. I didn't really have the time the opportunity (or the ride) in college to go to these but this year that is different. I may not be able to go to all of them, but I'm going to go to as many as possible.
Something else going on this afternoon, I'm going to the doctor for my medical eval. It's this four or five page form from the diocese that I have to get filled out. Needless to say, I think I'm going to be at the doctor's office for a while and most likely come home being minus a few vials of blood.
So, that's it for now...
I'll keep you posted!
Nancy`
So, I just hung up with Brothers Mark and Geoffrey from SSJE. Mark is the Interns Director whom I have spoken with before and Brother Geoffrey is a really nice person with a distinctive British accent.
That conversation was a lot of fun. Evidently I said a lot of things without realizing that I said them..? I have a tendency to do that I think...
We talked about some of the things that attracted me to the internship. Some of them are the structured way of living and the aspect of the entire community's purpose being the will of God and providing their guests the space they need to experience that for themselves as well as their ministry to the large number of young adults in the area. Another aspect that intrigues me is the opportunity to look past those pre-conceived notions about folks who go to Harvard and MIT etc., and be able to look past them and see who these people are as students.
We then went on to discuss what I thought my gifts and skills are. I know that I have this ability to get to know people on a deeper level than I initially intend, and it has been said to me that I have the gift of Evangelism. Frankly, in college it was inviting people to be open to the idea and also including that we had food. College students go for that, especially if its free.
I asked for clarification on how the interactions between the guests and the brothers differ from the relationship that the interns have with the brothers. Evidently, it's kind of obvious but for some reason I didn't really get it; the guests don't really have much to do with what's going on. They're there for quiet time and worship and potentially some spiritual direction whereas the interns are helping with the behind-the-scenes work. I've always enjoyed that aspect of things, it gives me a depth of understanding on how things work and for some reason it makes it that much more special.
The one thing I thought that would be the most difficult for me in-terms of the monastic way of living is all of the quiet time with nothing to do. Evidently as an intern, I won't have many times where there's absolutely nothing to do, but I gather there will be periods of silence.
I may be reading too much into this, but I think Br Geoffrey in-particular liked a lot of what I had to say.
Now onto the rest of my life, lol.
Needless to say, my Lenten experiment hasn't particularly failed but let's just say that I probably tried too much too soon, especially since I was doing it by myself and didn't really have any accountability. For some reason, I find I need that...
The one thing I was able to hold onto was that of Evening Prayer. Morning prayer on the other-hand... I completely messed up my sleeping schedule so I was Way off. So Morning Prayer practically has been non-existant for the last two or three weeks.
Because I had this phone call this morning, I was able to drag myself out of bed at 8. But I'm noticing that I'm getting sleepy...
So, this is Holy Week. If your FB friends of mine, you'll notice my profile picture. I like it. I'm looking forward to the Lenten services this week. I didn't really have the time the opportunity (or the ride) in college to go to these but this year that is different. I may not be able to go to all of them, but I'm going to go to as many as possible.
Something else going on this afternoon, I'm going to the doctor for my medical eval. It's this four or five page form from the diocese that I have to get filled out. Needless to say, I think I'm going to be at the doctor's office for a while and most likely come home being minus a few vials of blood.
So, that's it for now...
I'll keep you posted!
Nancy`
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
updates
Hi guys,
This is an update on Nana. Since Friday when I posted last, she had the surgery. It went well but a consequence of things has propelled the situation to a newer level.
When she went in on Thursday someone knicked something inside her urethra and she was bleeding. In heinsight that has been a blessing. On Monday, she was still bleeding so they did a CT scan and found something in her kidney.
They did another MRI and found that she has tumors inside her bladder as well as outside and also in one of her kidneys.
So tomorrow, they're going to remove what tumors they can and do a biopsey to see how aggressive they are. Because one of the tumors is in her bladder wall, they're going to have to remove one of her kidneys and her bladder, thus causing her to have to use a bag.
I spoke with her this evening after I foudn out from my dad and she said that if she's not going to have a good quality of life following the surgery they're scheduling for 4 to 6 weeks in Charlotte, she doesn't want to do it.
To be honest, I don't blame her for that.
I have never been one who believes that God would want this to happen to anyone and that his Will is being done in this situation. I can only console myself with the knowledge that God did not let this happen to her, it was merely the circumstances of life that have lead her to this point.
So I ask for many prayers for myself, my family and especially my Nana- Betty VanderBrink. It's interesting that her brother Dennis also had a tumor in his bladder that was removed.
I'll keep you posted on the surgery as well as the phone call with SSJE on Thursday.
Oh and I replied to the comment.
Love,
Nancy
This is an update on Nana. Since Friday when I posted last, she had the surgery. It went well but a consequence of things has propelled the situation to a newer level.
When she went in on Thursday someone knicked something inside her urethra and she was bleeding. In heinsight that has been a blessing. On Monday, she was still bleeding so they did a CT scan and found something in her kidney.
They did another MRI and found that she has tumors inside her bladder as well as outside and also in one of her kidneys.
So tomorrow, they're going to remove what tumors they can and do a biopsey to see how aggressive they are. Because one of the tumors is in her bladder wall, they're going to have to remove one of her kidneys and her bladder, thus causing her to have to use a bag.
I spoke with her this evening after I foudn out from my dad and she said that if she's not going to have a good quality of life following the surgery they're scheduling for 4 to 6 weeks in Charlotte, she doesn't want to do it.
To be honest, I don't blame her for that.
I have never been one who believes that God would want this to happen to anyone and that his Will is being done in this situation. I can only console myself with the knowledge that God did not let this happen to her, it was merely the circumstances of life that have lead her to this point.
So I ask for many prayers for myself, my family and especially my Nana- Betty VanderBrink. It's interesting that her brother Dennis also had a tumor in his bladder that was removed.
I'll keep you posted on the surgery as well as the phone call with SSJE on Thursday.
Oh and I replied to the comment.
Love,
Nancy
Friday, April 8, 2011
4th Week in Lent: Phew...
Hi guys,
this is going to be a long one...
Ok, so first I'll start with my Lenten schedule. It's fluctuating... some days are great, some are not. I am going to get myself back on track but can only do it with your support, so whatever you can offer would be most appreciated.
All right, so last weekend I went up to Rock Hill last weekend. I went saturday afternoon and with 61 volunteers we fed 60,000 people. We did this because we made bags that can feed 6 people per bag. They had amounts of things that were put into this bag: a vitamin packet, beans, dried vegetables, and rice. Then the bags were weighed and to get the bags to the correct weight, rice was added or subtracted. Then following that the bags were sealed then boxed. Surprisingly, it only took us an hour and 45 minutes. It was a lot of fun!
That afternoon afterwards, I spent some time with MaryCat. She helped me with the paper for the discernment process and we just got a chance to have a face to face conversation. She suggested I re-write the paper and to be honest, I think this is the best version so far... if it's the last or not, we shall see.
I spoke with Rob Brown sunday afternoon about a suggestion that MaryCat offered up, the possibility that he could be my sponsoring priest but Our Saviour continue to be my sponsoring parish. The diocese for whatever reason wasn't a fan of that idea, oh well. So what they decided is that MaryCat is going to be my sponsoring priest. This puts a wrinkle in things because she was going to be my clergy reference, and sponsoring priest can't do that. So, if the diocese decides that I need another one, I'll most-likely ask Rob, but I'm not sure yet.
So, there's some details that need to be ironed out but I'm not going to worry about them for the time being.
A couple things in the last 24 hours have happened.
Last night, my Nana (my dad's mom) fell. She has a small break in her hip. She lives in Valdeese, NC. So my dad and I are going to travel up there in a little while.
An email that I got this morning has got me thinking. SSJE (the Society of St. John the Evangelist) sent me an email today letting me know that they're reviewing applications and to give them a time when I could speak with them. I said that I'm still interested, something I'm thinking about though... Once we get the paperwork sorted, I'm sending it to the Diocese. Should my meeting with the Bishop go well and he allows me to continue to the Bishop's Interview Discernment Committee, there's a meeting in June and October. From what I understand, the BID gives you some clergy mentors and you spend time with them doing things. My concern is that if I go to Cambridge then the BID won't be able to fulfill its duty and that will cause me to have to wait another year. MaryCat said that if all goes well, I could plan to appply for the 2012 academic year. So, I've said I'm still interested in the internship, but when it comes down to it that will be a conversation that needs to be seriously considered. That adds up to another one of my things to pray about.
See, I told you it was going to be a long one.
I pray for healing, guidance and peace.
Love to you all and I pray for a blessed Lent
Nancy
this is going to be a long one...
Ok, so first I'll start with my Lenten schedule. It's fluctuating... some days are great, some are not. I am going to get myself back on track but can only do it with your support, so whatever you can offer would be most appreciated.
All right, so last weekend I went up to Rock Hill last weekend. I went saturday afternoon and with 61 volunteers we fed 60,000 people. We did this because we made bags that can feed 6 people per bag. They had amounts of things that were put into this bag: a vitamin packet, beans, dried vegetables, and rice. Then the bags were weighed and to get the bags to the correct weight, rice was added or subtracted. Then following that the bags were sealed then boxed. Surprisingly, it only took us an hour and 45 minutes. It was a lot of fun!
That afternoon afterwards, I spent some time with MaryCat. She helped me with the paper for the discernment process and we just got a chance to have a face to face conversation. She suggested I re-write the paper and to be honest, I think this is the best version so far... if it's the last or not, we shall see.
I spoke with Rob Brown sunday afternoon about a suggestion that MaryCat offered up, the possibility that he could be my sponsoring priest but Our Saviour continue to be my sponsoring parish. The diocese for whatever reason wasn't a fan of that idea, oh well. So what they decided is that MaryCat is going to be my sponsoring priest. This puts a wrinkle in things because she was going to be my clergy reference, and sponsoring priest can't do that. So, if the diocese decides that I need another one, I'll most-likely ask Rob, but I'm not sure yet.
So, there's some details that need to be ironed out but I'm not going to worry about them for the time being.
A couple things in the last 24 hours have happened.
Last night, my Nana (my dad's mom) fell. She has a small break in her hip. She lives in Valdeese, NC. So my dad and I are going to travel up there in a little while.
An email that I got this morning has got me thinking. SSJE (the Society of St. John the Evangelist) sent me an email today letting me know that they're reviewing applications and to give them a time when I could speak with them. I said that I'm still interested, something I'm thinking about though... Once we get the paperwork sorted, I'm sending it to the Diocese. Should my meeting with the Bishop go well and he allows me to continue to the Bishop's Interview Discernment Committee, there's a meeting in June and October. From what I understand, the BID gives you some clergy mentors and you spend time with them doing things. My concern is that if I go to Cambridge then the BID won't be able to fulfill its duty and that will cause me to have to wait another year. MaryCat said that if all goes well, I could plan to appply for the 2012 academic year. So, I've said I'm still interested in the internship, but when it comes down to it that will be a conversation that needs to be seriously considered. That adds up to another one of my things to pray about.
See, I told you it was going to be a long one.
I pray for healing, guidance and peace.
Love to you all and I pray for a blessed Lent
Nancy
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Week 3 in Lent; a whole lotta changin'
Hi guys,
I would have written yesterday, but what a Long day.
Yesterday as part of the Lenten series going on in Spartanburg, the Church of the Advent, Church of the Epiphany, St. Christopher’s and St. Matthew’s have been getting together each Wednesday night for a program dealing with hunger. The first night was a meal, some people just got rice or vegetables but only a few got steak.
Then last week, the program was about finding services and how difficult that is to do. And last night the program was about moving the food pantry food from the new building to the gym. They decided to do this because it would concentrate all of the activity to one location, and the potential to get folks through faster is there also. It’ll be interesting to see how it works next Wednesday.
This past week has been a struggle to get back on track but it’s getting better. That’s all I will really say about that.
Something weighing heavily on my mind, well a few things…
There is Charlie’s retirement, and the possible moving of my process over to St. Matthew’s. It makes me sad to not have my process at Our Saviour, but on a more-practical level, it also makes me nervous. It seemed to me like Our Saviour folks were going to help financially, with things like the Psychological testing and such. So, if I move my process, will that financial support be there? If not, what am I going to do?
Another question that has been weighing on my mind for about an hour or so now is this; my employment consultant from the Commission for the Blind called me and said that some equipment they’ve been waiting on has finally come in. It’s cool equipment, I’m sure it’ll help learning these things but why should I go down to Columbia to learn to use it? What good is it going to do me? When all is said and done with using that piece of equipment, will I be able to get a job knowing how to use that?
Another question that has cropped up was that Verizon Wireless is still an option, which would mean going to Columbia. My concern is that if my process moves to St. Matthew’s and I go down to Columbia, I’m sure I’ll come home during the time when I’m at the Commission, but what would happen if I got a job in Columbia? That is the major source of anxiety for me right now.
Whether I choose to go forward with it or not, it could take a few weeks, and who knows what could happen with my process. I’m probably worrying over nothing, but these are concerns for me. Please do me a favor and keep me in your prayers, I feel a little bit overwhelmed by the many things bouncing around right now. More importantly, I’m not sure what to do. So prayers for peace, a greater clarity in my life, and strength to face whatever happens would be appreciated.
Love to you all,
Nancy
I would have written yesterday, but what a Long day.
Yesterday as part of the Lenten series going on in Spartanburg, the Church of the Advent, Church of the Epiphany, St. Christopher’s and St. Matthew’s have been getting together each Wednesday night for a program dealing with hunger. The first night was a meal, some people just got rice or vegetables but only a few got steak.
Then last week, the program was about finding services and how difficult that is to do. And last night the program was about moving the food pantry food from the new building to the gym. They decided to do this because it would concentrate all of the activity to one location, and the potential to get folks through faster is there also. It’ll be interesting to see how it works next Wednesday.
This past week has been a struggle to get back on track but it’s getting better. That’s all I will really say about that.
Something weighing heavily on my mind, well a few things…
There is Charlie’s retirement, and the possible moving of my process over to St. Matthew’s. It makes me sad to not have my process at Our Saviour, but on a more-practical level, it also makes me nervous. It seemed to me like Our Saviour folks were going to help financially, with things like the Psychological testing and such. So, if I move my process, will that financial support be there? If not, what am I going to do?
Another question that has been weighing on my mind for about an hour or so now is this; my employment consultant from the Commission for the Blind called me and said that some equipment they’ve been waiting on has finally come in. It’s cool equipment, I’m sure it’ll help learning these things but why should I go down to Columbia to learn to use it? What good is it going to do me? When all is said and done with using that piece of equipment, will I be able to get a job knowing how to use that?
Another question that has cropped up was that Verizon Wireless is still an option, which would mean going to Columbia. My concern is that if my process moves to St. Matthew’s and I go down to Columbia, I’m sure I’ll come home during the time when I’m at the Commission, but what would happen if I got a job in Columbia? That is the major source of anxiety for me right now.
Whether I choose to go forward with it or not, it could take a few weeks, and who knows what could happen with my process. I’m probably worrying over nothing, but these are concerns for me. Please do me a favor and keep me in your prayers, I feel a little bit overwhelmed by the many things bouncing around right now. More importantly, I’m not sure what to do. So prayers for peace, a greater clarity in my life, and strength to face whatever happens would be appreciated.
Love to you all,
Nancy
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Second week of Lent- now the trials begin
Hi guys,
I normally would email about this on sunday to you guys, but that has changed. I'll just add emailing you guys to the weekly email that I send to my spiritual director. A bit of news to follow, but this past week in review first.
So things were going fairly smoothly until sometime last week. I'm not entirely sure what happened. My dad came home and I don't know, my sleeping schedule got mixed up and here I am, not able to get up at 7:30 right now. I've tried dilligently for the last few days, I will get back on track, I will.
The same sort of thing has happened with my daily rounds of morning and evening prayer. If you're FB friends of mine I haven't posted both in a few days. I'm lucky to get one posted.
So, on this past Sunday, I got a chance to read the scriptures and the psalm for the first time. Nervous doesn't describe my feelings. That was a rather odd feeling for me. I can stand in front of cameras and I can stand in front of a presentation, but standing up to read in church is nervewracking. I think the difference here is that I was reading.
Reading aloud isn't something I did a lot as a kid. Not really sure why, but as I've gotten older, my primary mode of reading has been listening to either JAWS or to books on tape, or in the Sunday school class at CoOS the folks in that class would pass a book and read it. So I never did that.
I've had a bit of practice in Rob's Bible Bread & Wine class. That has been a good experience. Finding a good font, size, and lighting issues make reading out loud a source of anxiety for me. I generally have talking points for presentations, so reading out loud is different.
All that being said, it went really well. Rob practiced with me beforehand. He wanted to make sure I was safe traveling around. Of course I was fine, I had Doc. When I took Doc up there with me, he had a hard time settling, but once he did, he put his chin on top of my shoe. That made me feel better.
Once we'd read the Gospel and it was time for Rob's sermon, he said that when someone does something new for the first time, it's better not to acknowledge it, so he said that Doc did a good job. That one made me laugh.
So, the cool part is I've done it and doing it again will be that little bit easier. The really neat part is that I'm reading on Palm Sunday. The call came out for who wanted to do what and I said I'd never done anything during Holy Week before but would like to, so there ya go.
Now, as far as process stuff goes, I've gathered all the paperwork I have to send in. My references have been asked and given a deadline. I've got the appointment for the physical exam scheduled with my family doctor all that's left is to send in my packet, and call the psychologist in Columbia to schedule the testing. Once I have the date for that, things can start moving.
Speaking of my process and CoOS, I got the Acorn today and found out that Charlie- my sponsoring priest is going to be retiring in June. I'm not in panic mode, I'm actually more curious as to what happens to my process. If I don't meet with the Bishop until after June, who goes with me? Even if I meet with him before then, who gets the responsibility of being my sponsoring priest?
I actually kind of find this funny. My process has been full of transitions of all kinds from the very beginning, but I guess with any kind of discernment there comes transitions.
We shall see,
I'll keep you guys posted.
Oh and btw, I'm going to be up in Rock Hill on the 2nd to help with the food packaging event. I figured it'd give me a chance to see some people. I miss you guys.
Peace,
Nancy
I normally would email about this on sunday to you guys, but that has changed. I'll just add emailing you guys to the weekly email that I send to my spiritual director. A bit of news to follow, but this past week in review first.
So things were going fairly smoothly until sometime last week. I'm not entirely sure what happened. My dad came home and I don't know, my sleeping schedule got mixed up and here I am, not able to get up at 7:30 right now. I've tried dilligently for the last few days, I will get back on track, I will.
The same sort of thing has happened with my daily rounds of morning and evening prayer. If you're FB friends of mine I haven't posted both in a few days. I'm lucky to get one posted.
So, on this past Sunday, I got a chance to read the scriptures and the psalm for the first time. Nervous doesn't describe my feelings. That was a rather odd feeling for me. I can stand in front of cameras and I can stand in front of a presentation, but standing up to read in church is nervewracking. I think the difference here is that I was reading.
Reading aloud isn't something I did a lot as a kid. Not really sure why, but as I've gotten older, my primary mode of reading has been listening to either JAWS or to books on tape, or in the Sunday school class at CoOS the folks in that class would pass a book and read it. So I never did that.
I've had a bit of practice in Rob's Bible Bread & Wine class. That has been a good experience. Finding a good font, size, and lighting issues make reading out loud a source of anxiety for me. I generally have talking points for presentations, so reading out loud is different.
All that being said, it went really well. Rob practiced with me beforehand. He wanted to make sure I was safe traveling around. Of course I was fine, I had Doc. When I took Doc up there with me, he had a hard time settling, but once he did, he put his chin on top of my shoe. That made me feel better.
Once we'd read the Gospel and it was time for Rob's sermon, he said that when someone does something new for the first time, it's better not to acknowledge it, so he said that Doc did a good job. That one made me laugh.
So, the cool part is I've done it and doing it again will be that little bit easier. The really neat part is that I'm reading on Palm Sunday. The call came out for who wanted to do what and I said I'd never done anything during Holy Week before but would like to, so there ya go.
Now, as far as process stuff goes, I've gathered all the paperwork I have to send in. My references have been asked and given a deadline. I've got the appointment for the physical exam scheduled with my family doctor all that's left is to send in my packet, and call the psychologist in Columbia to schedule the testing. Once I have the date for that, things can start moving.
Speaking of my process and CoOS, I got the Acorn today and found out that Charlie- my sponsoring priest is going to be retiring in June. I'm not in panic mode, I'm actually more curious as to what happens to my process. If I don't meet with the Bishop until after June, who goes with me? Even if I meet with him before then, who gets the responsibility of being my sponsoring priest?
I actually kind of find this funny. My process has been full of transitions of all kinds from the very beginning, but I guess with any kind of discernment there comes transitions.
We shall see,
I'll keep you guys posted.
Oh and btw, I'm going to be up in Rock Hill on the 2nd to help with the food packaging event. I figured it'd give me a chance to see some people. I miss you guys.
Peace,
Nancy
Sunday, March 13, 2011
First Sunday of Lent- a couple days in
Hi guys,
So I've been on my Lenten schedule for only a couPle days so far.
I'm finding that when I start morning or evening prayer I get interrupted. I'm not really sure what to do about that. It's beginning to get easier but Particularly in the morning I find myself more focused on how long it's taking rather than what's being said.
I do also find myself sad that I'm the only one doing this. Although I'm grateful to my friend Ben from Vocare who emailed me to tell me I want keeping my schedule. I appreciate that.
I heard from the interns director at the monastery. A bit early considering the application deadline isn't until the 31st. He had concerns about my safety being able to get around. I waited until the next day to email him Bach. I got advice, prayed about it, and slept on it. I'm very happy with what I came up with. He emailed me back thanking me for my thoughtful response and that they were reviewing applications. Now the hard part, waiting.
Other than that, the structure is helping. I'm up early, still adjusting to that and the early-morning quiet.
I think Sundays are a good day to relax my schedule, although I may continue to do the office, I'm not sure yet.
Until next Sunday.
Blessings for a holy Lent,
Nancy
So I've been on my Lenten schedule for only a couPle days so far.
I'm finding that when I start morning or evening prayer I get interrupted. I'm not really sure what to do about that. It's beginning to get easier but Particularly in the morning I find myself more focused on how long it's taking rather than what's being said.
I do also find myself sad that I'm the only one doing this. Although I'm grateful to my friend Ben from Vocare who emailed me to tell me I want keeping my schedule. I appreciate that.
I heard from the interns director at the monastery. A bit early considering the application deadline isn't until the 31st. He had concerns about my safety being able to get around. I waited until the next day to email him Bach. I got advice, prayed about it, and slept on it. I'm very happy with what I came up with. He emailed me back thanking me for my thoughtful response and that they were reviewing applications. Now the hard part, waiting.
Other than that, the structure is helping. I'm up early, still adjusting to that and the early-morning quiet.
I think Sundays are a good day to relax my schedule, although I may continue to do the office, I'm not sure yet.
Until next Sunday.
Blessings for a holy Lent,
Nancy
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return
Good morning all,
I've been thinking about this for the past couple of days and decided that now is a good time to implement these things.
As far as Lent goes, I made myself a plan.
This plan started out very simply. I wanted to learn to do the Daily office, and incorporate table blessings into my family's life.
Well, it sort of got bigger from there.
Rob Brown challenged me to do the Daily Office every day for a wweek using the Daily Office online from Mission St. Clare. http://www.missionstclare.com/english/ So, the mobile site that I use on my ipod is a Lot easier to use, but I guess that means I should do some investigating of the desktop version as well. Maybe I'll learn something.
As far as the table blessing aspect goes, I thanked God for everyone that had anything to do with the preparing of what I ate for breakfast. PB&J and a bananna. Not elegent, but there ya go.
So as I started to think about Lent as a whole I stumbled upon something awesome last week. In the newsletter that the Diocese puts out every two weeks by email, there was a link called 'Monastic Internships'.
My first reaction was "Oh wow, that's awesome!" I find it important that what actually got me considering the priesthood in the first-place was a TLC Documentary series called The Monastery where five ordinary guys went to live in a Monestary for 40 days.
So when I saw the link, I immediately felt this urge to learn everything I could about it. So while investigating the site, I found that even though it's a Monastery that consists of men, they're offering the monastic internship experience to women as well. So I was like, "oh yeah, gotta check this out."
The more I read, the stronger my urge became to give it a try. My gut reaction was to fill out the application right there and then. But cooler heads prevailed and I waited. I sent the email to my spiritual director and told him about it and my feelings on it and asked if we could talk about it.
Some of the things drawing me to it are the sense of community where the main focus is their developing a deeper relationship with God, the ability to learn more about the Anglican tradition (I figure if I'm considering being a priest in a church that I don't know much about, I can't really make the best decisions), the structured way of living, and the opportunities to participate in their ministries.
So I talked to Roy about it and I emailed Charlie about it and they both thought it was a great idea, so I filled out the application. Interestingly I ran into a bit of a good problem while filling out the application. They wanted two references, one a clergy-person that knew me very well. Therein lies the problem. The number of clergy I have surrounded myself with could have easily been four or five. So, what I decided to do was to put Roy down as my reference and my best friend Wes as another. I figured with our conversations on lots of things and Roy's understanding of why I found this internship opportunity beneficial would hopefully go a long way.
As with last year when I was applying for Episcopal Service Corps internships, a good reference may not get you into the internship. So I remain gardedly optimistic.
So, back to Lent.
I mentioned the internship because looking at the monastery's website, it gave me an idea. I need structure. In fact, I feel like I'm yearning for some sort of structure. So using their daily schedule as a model, I created my own with a couple goals in mind.
To make space for God every day, to spend quiet time with God.
To give myself a little bit of freedom within the structure. Having choices for things to do helps a lot.
If I'm going to continue on in higher education, I need the GRE. It's all paid for, I just have to take it, I have no more excuses, other than I've been Really lazy. So, I have study time set out to either study the GRE or read some books that I've gathered on spirituality and such.
Other than that, I think just seeing the schedule will make sense.
7:30 Morning Prayer
8:00 Breakfast/ shower
9:00 Quiet time/ walking dogs
10:00-12:30 Study
Housework
Free time
Etc.
12:30 Lunch and clean up
1:30-5:00 Study
Housework
Free time
Etc.
5:00 Feed Dogs/Evening Prayer
5:30-8:00 Dinnertime
8:00 Family time
10:00 Compline/Quiet time
So, I wanted to create a routine that could flex if it needed to. Dinner time in-particular is not a static thing. Especially with my parents working, it could be as late as 9 o'clock.
I've been trying out various aspects of this since Monday. My schedule may change a bit here and there bases on how things are going, but for now I'm going to stick with this basic template.
So now my friends who read my blog, I'm curious, what are your plans for Lent? Don't feel bad if you don't have any, I'm the only one in my house who does.
Blessings to you all.
Leave a Comment with what you're thinking for Lent.
Nancy
I've been thinking about this for the past couple of days and decided that now is a good time to implement these things.
As far as Lent goes, I made myself a plan.
This plan started out very simply. I wanted to learn to do the Daily office, and incorporate table blessings into my family's life.
Well, it sort of got bigger from there.
Rob Brown challenged me to do the Daily Office every day for a wweek using the Daily Office online from Mission St. Clare. http://www.missionstclare.com/english/ So, the mobile site that I use on my ipod is a Lot easier to use, but I guess that means I should do some investigating of the desktop version as well. Maybe I'll learn something.
As far as the table blessing aspect goes, I thanked God for everyone that had anything to do with the preparing of what I ate for breakfast. PB&J and a bananna. Not elegent, but there ya go.
So as I started to think about Lent as a whole I stumbled upon something awesome last week. In the newsletter that the Diocese puts out every two weeks by email, there was a link called 'Monastic Internships'.
My first reaction was "Oh wow, that's awesome!" I find it important that what actually got me considering the priesthood in the first-place was a TLC Documentary series called The Monastery where five ordinary guys went to live in a Monestary for 40 days.
So when I saw the link, I immediately felt this urge to learn everything I could about it. So while investigating the site, I found that even though it's a Monastery that consists of men, they're offering the monastic internship experience to women as well. So I was like, "oh yeah, gotta check this out."
The more I read, the stronger my urge became to give it a try. My gut reaction was to fill out the application right there and then. But cooler heads prevailed and I waited. I sent the email to my spiritual director and told him about it and my feelings on it and asked if we could talk about it.
Some of the things drawing me to it are the sense of community where the main focus is their developing a deeper relationship with God, the ability to learn more about the Anglican tradition (I figure if I'm considering being a priest in a church that I don't know much about, I can't really make the best decisions), the structured way of living, and the opportunities to participate in their ministries.
So I talked to Roy about it and I emailed Charlie about it and they both thought it was a great idea, so I filled out the application. Interestingly I ran into a bit of a good problem while filling out the application. They wanted two references, one a clergy-person that knew me very well. Therein lies the problem. The number of clergy I have surrounded myself with could have easily been four or five. So, what I decided to do was to put Roy down as my reference and my best friend Wes as another. I figured with our conversations on lots of things and Roy's understanding of why I found this internship opportunity beneficial would hopefully go a long way.
As with last year when I was applying for Episcopal Service Corps internships, a good reference may not get you into the internship. So I remain gardedly optimistic.
So, back to Lent.
I mentioned the internship because looking at the monastery's website, it gave me an idea. I need structure. In fact, I feel like I'm yearning for some sort of structure. So using their daily schedule as a model, I created my own with a couple goals in mind.
To make space for God every day, to spend quiet time with God.
To give myself a little bit of freedom within the structure. Having choices for things to do helps a lot.
If I'm going to continue on in higher education, I need the GRE. It's all paid for, I just have to take it, I have no more excuses, other than I've been Really lazy. So, I have study time set out to either study the GRE or read some books that I've gathered on spirituality and such.
Other than that, I think just seeing the schedule will make sense.
7:30 Morning Prayer
8:00 Breakfast/ shower
9:00 Quiet time/ walking dogs
10:00-12:30 Study
Housework
Free time
Etc.
12:30 Lunch and clean up
1:30-5:00 Study
Housework
Free time
Etc.
5:00 Feed Dogs/Evening Prayer
5:30-8:00 Dinnertime
8:00 Family time
10:00 Compline/Quiet time
So, I wanted to create a routine that could flex if it needed to. Dinner time in-particular is not a static thing. Especially with my parents working, it could be as late as 9 o'clock.
I've been trying out various aspects of this since Monday. My schedule may change a bit here and there bases on how things are going, but for now I'm going to stick with this basic template.
So now my friends who read my blog, I'm curious, what are your plans for Lent? Don't feel bad if you don't have any, I'm the only one in my house who does.
Blessings to you all.
Leave a Comment with what you're thinking for Lent.
Nancy
Monday, March 7, 2011
Couldn't wait until Wednesday, at least not for this part
Hi guys,
So I decided this year I'm going to make Lent a time that I'm going to be very intentional about my faith. I've been plagued with feelings of inadequacy again in-particular when it comes to knowing scripture. I know bits and pieces and want to know more.
One way to do this is by doing the Daily Office each day. I think I needed to know that someone cared that I was doing it. Father Rob challenged me to do both Morning and Evening Prayer. He wanted me to start using mission St. Claire online and in a week, we'll see about using the BCP. That may not work for me, we shall see.
On Wednesday Evening, I'll blog more about the rest of my plans for Lent. Maybe this year I can make it work.
Much love and prayers for you all.
Nancy
So I decided this year I'm going to make Lent a time that I'm going to be very intentional about my faith. I've been plagued with feelings of inadequacy again in-particular when it comes to knowing scripture. I know bits and pieces and want to know more.
One way to do this is by doing the Daily Office each day. I think I needed to know that someone cared that I was doing it. Father Rob challenged me to do both Morning and Evening Prayer. He wanted me to start using mission St. Claire online and in a week, we'll see about using the BCP. That may not work for me, we shall see.
On Wednesday Evening, I'll blog more about the rest of my plans for Lent. Maybe this year I can make it work.
Much love and prayers for you all.
Nancy
Sunday, February 27, 2011
hmm, so yeah
Hi guys!
So, to be honest, I haven't the slightest idea why I haden't posted this earlier.
Needless to say, I met with Church of Our Saviour's Vestry last Saturday the 19th. I was a good experience, a little nervewracking but a good experience nonetheless.
It was nice to see everyone!
I was nervous to say the least, according to my sister, I was talking fast and was using my hands a lot, lol.
I told them about what I've been up to at St. Matthew's in regards to the food pantry and getting involved in the liturgy.
When all was said and done, I drove home with Chelsea not knowing the outcome. Anxious doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt. The waiting was scary/exciting and hopeful at the same time.
So, all-in-all, I got an email from Donna the next morning. She said that Charlie told her that I got "more than the number of required signatures".
Exciting, relieved, hopeful. A lot of emotions are going through me.
I'm now in 'getting what I need to get done, done' mode. I'm working on finishing the Nomination Acceptance form.
It's essentially a form that goes to the Bishop that says I'm accepting the nomination that the Vestry approved saying that they think I should continue forward in the discernment process.
So as of now, I'm waiting for some information. I'm waiting to hear from St. John's in New Jersey which is where I was Baptized. I'm hoping they can give me the date. I also need the date of my Confirmation that happened my Freshman year of college. I'm pretty sure it was in the Spring, but that's all I know.
So, I understand that this is a long expensive process but despite all of that, I'm supposed to continue. I'm going to go until someone says no.
I'm along for the ride, we'll see what happens.
Short I know, but an update all the same :)
Nancy
So, to be honest, I haven't the slightest idea why I haden't posted this earlier.
Needless to say, I met with Church of Our Saviour's Vestry last Saturday the 19th. I was a good experience, a little nervewracking but a good experience nonetheless.
It was nice to see everyone!
I was nervous to say the least, according to my sister, I was talking fast and was using my hands a lot, lol.
I told them about what I've been up to at St. Matthew's in regards to the food pantry and getting involved in the liturgy.
When all was said and done, I drove home with Chelsea not knowing the outcome. Anxious doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt. The waiting was scary/exciting and hopeful at the same time.
So, all-in-all, I got an email from Donna the next morning. She said that Charlie told her that I got "more than the number of required signatures".
Exciting, relieved, hopeful. A lot of emotions are going through me.
I'm now in 'getting what I need to get done, done' mode. I'm working on finishing the Nomination Acceptance form.
It's essentially a form that goes to the Bishop that says I'm accepting the nomination that the Vestry approved saying that they think I should continue forward in the discernment process.
So as of now, I'm waiting for some information. I'm waiting to hear from St. John's in New Jersey which is where I was Baptized. I'm hoping they can give me the date. I also need the date of my Confirmation that happened my Freshman year of college. I'm pretty sure it was in the Spring, but that's all I know.
So, I understand that this is a long expensive process but despite all of that, I'm supposed to continue. I'm going to go until someone says no.
I'm along for the ride, we'll see what happens.
Short I know, but an update all the same :)
Nancy
Thursday, February 10, 2011
wow, a lot's goin on
Hi guys,
Phew, where to begin...
I think I'll start with my experience at the Chapman Center. Working with Stephen the TD was really nice. He's still doing a bit of teaching, but that makes me more comfortable. Unfortunately, I noticed particularly in regards to working with sound equipment, I have forgotten some things. Patching for instance, now completely confuses me. That's particularly frustrating because I spent time learning that stuff.
Other than that, I didn't really have any problems. There space is a really neat space. It has a ton of technology in it. In addition to being able to do reinforcement and recordings, the equipment in the booth has the capability to send audio and video to the lobby. It was pretty cool. I got to watch a bit of the Chinese Acrobats while I was waiting for my ride.
The orchestra concert went really well. A lot of it was familiar stuff. Putting out chairs and stands, running cables, that sort of thing.
I'm really enjoying working with Stephen.
Last Friday, I also helped Stephen out, I worked hospitality for the Chinese Accrobats. I thought I was going to be bored, nope. I met the crew chief for a group called Spartanburg Stagehands. I gave him my name and number and he's going to connect me to the lady in charge. It turns out that that group has people in it who are jacks of all trades. He asked me whether I wanted to stay local or travel. I told him I didn't care, I just wanted to work. That's something I've figured out. I like just working. There are things I've done more than others, but as long as I'm shown what to do, I'll do whatever.
Another important development happened tuesday afternoon, I got an email from Donna who'se my discernment committee chair. She said that the committee and Charlie and MaryCat all agreed that it's time for me to move forward in my discernment process. I'm excited but also a bit anxious about what happens next. Am I ready for the hard questions? Will I know how to answer the questions? I can only have faith that when the time comes, I will know what to say, cause I can't do anything else.
I spoke with Charlie that afternoon because I had a question about something I read in the handbook. We went on to discuss what will happen at the Vestry Retreat on the 19th. I'm going to be presented to the Vestry to I think be 'nominated' to move on to the next stage of the discernment process. There was also a discussion between Charlie about after having the Vestry sign-off on my process, then moving it to St. Matthew's, because that's where I am right now. I'm not sure how that's going to work, I think he's also going to ask Rob Brown to add a letter to the packet of stuff that Charlie is sending to the Diocese.
That's all I 'think' I know about that. I may have gotten some things confused, but that's how I understand it. I'm thinking after the Vestry retreat, I'd like to go by and visit whoever's around at Winthrop. It'll be a Saturday afternoon, so who knows where everybody will be.
It's amazing, I was thinking the other day, that my birthday, march 11 will be a year since I started the formal discernment process. What an interesting time it has been.
I've got a lot to do between the 19th and the 22nd of February. The 19th is the Vestry Retreat, the 20th, I'm reading the prayers again. The 21st, I'm going to help set-up and do techie stuff at Chapman again, but this time for the Spartan High Chorus. Then on the 22nd, I'm going to meet my new Commission Counselor, Dameron Anderson who's from Rock Hill. I hear she's great. And hopefully shortly thereafter, I'll meet with my Spiritual director, Roy to talk about what happens next.
So, this week and next is going to be quiet, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing given all of the stuff I'm going to do next weekend.
I think that's about it for now. I'll report back after I meet with the Vestry.
Cheers,
Nancy
Phew, where to begin...
I think I'll start with my experience at the Chapman Center. Working with Stephen the TD was really nice. He's still doing a bit of teaching, but that makes me more comfortable. Unfortunately, I noticed particularly in regards to working with sound equipment, I have forgotten some things. Patching for instance, now completely confuses me. That's particularly frustrating because I spent time learning that stuff.
Other than that, I didn't really have any problems. There space is a really neat space. It has a ton of technology in it. In addition to being able to do reinforcement and recordings, the equipment in the booth has the capability to send audio and video to the lobby. It was pretty cool. I got to watch a bit of the Chinese Acrobats while I was waiting for my ride.
The orchestra concert went really well. A lot of it was familiar stuff. Putting out chairs and stands, running cables, that sort of thing.
I'm really enjoying working with Stephen.
Last Friday, I also helped Stephen out, I worked hospitality for the Chinese Accrobats. I thought I was going to be bored, nope. I met the crew chief for a group called Spartanburg Stagehands. I gave him my name and number and he's going to connect me to the lady in charge. It turns out that that group has people in it who are jacks of all trades. He asked me whether I wanted to stay local or travel. I told him I didn't care, I just wanted to work. That's something I've figured out. I like just working. There are things I've done more than others, but as long as I'm shown what to do, I'll do whatever.
Another important development happened tuesday afternoon, I got an email from Donna who'se my discernment committee chair. She said that the committee and Charlie and MaryCat all agreed that it's time for me to move forward in my discernment process. I'm excited but also a bit anxious about what happens next. Am I ready for the hard questions? Will I know how to answer the questions? I can only have faith that when the time comes, I will know what to say, cause I can't do anything else.
I spoke with Charlie that afternoon because I had a question about something I read in the handbook. We went on to discuss what will happen at the Vestry Retreat on the 19th. I'm going to be presented to the Vestry to I think be 'nominated' to move on to the next stage of the discernment process. There was also a discussion between Charlie about after having the Vestry sign-off on my process, then moving it to St. Matthew's, because that's where I am right now. I'm not sure how that's going to work, I think he's also going to ask Rob Brown to add a letter to the packet of stuff that Charlie is sending to the Diocese.
That's all I 'think' I know about that. I may have gotten some things confused, but that's how I understand it. I'm thinking after the Vestry retreat, I'd like to go by and visit whoever's around at Winthrop. It'll be a Saturday afternoon, so who knows where everybody will be.
It's amazing, I was thinking the other day, that my birthday, march 11 will be a year since I started the formal discernment process. What an interesting time it has been.
I've got a lot to do between the 19th and the 22nd of February. The 19th is the Vestry Retreat, the 20th, I'm reading the prayers again. The 21st, I'm going to help set-up and do techie stuff at Chapman again, but this time for the Spartan High Chorus. Then on the 22nd, I'm going to meet my new Commission Counselor, Dameron Anderson who's from Rock Hill. I hear she's great. And hopefully shortly thereafter, I'll meet with my Spiritual director, Roy to talk about what happens next.
So, this week and next is going to be quiet, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing given all of the stuff I'm going to do next weekend.
I think that's about it for now. I'll report back after I meet with the Vestry.
Cheers,
Nancy
Thursday, January 20, 2011
having done some stuff
Hi folks,
I had planned on writing after I met with my committee, but that didn't happen, then I planned on writing after my meeting with the TD at the Chapman center last friday but that didn't happen either, then I planned on writing sunday evening, but since it's now thursday, I'm sure you've figured out where I'm going, lol.
So, first thing's first, the committee meeting. I have to say, I think that was by-far the best one we've ever had, at least for me anyway. We covered a lot in an hour and a half! Something I find funny about our meeting, someone asked me why I found these meetings so important. Frankly, I found it hard to explain. My first reaction was duh. But that not being very articulate, I tried to explain. The opportunity to talk things out is very important to me, especially when talking about things that are hard to wrap my brain around.
With this last meeting, I particularly enjoyed the group discussion aspect of things. It seemed like everyone was there bouncing ideas around and helping me to see what we came to figure out. I don't think I'm explaining this very well.
Anyway. My committee met by themselves after I left. part of me is burning to know what they came up with, but patience is important.
So last Friday, I finally was able to meet with Stephen Smith, the TD at Chapman Center. It turns out that there are two TD's at Chapman. Stephen and someone else I can remember, darn. Anyway, Stephen is responsible for the facility more so than the other TD. The other guy is responsible for the Little Theater as well as the Youth Theater. It seems to me, with my limited understanding, that Stephen sets up for groups that rent the theater space, and the other td does more productions.
I've actually already got a date to do some work with Stephen, it's going to be either next monday or the 31st, the Spartan high chamber orchestra is going to play, and I'm going to come in at 4, we're going to set the stage, chairs music stands, etc. There's going to be one mic, presumably for the conductor to address the audience, and I'm going to run that mic during their concert. It starts at 7 so he seems to think we'll be done at 8. I'm not sure if that means that I don't help clear the stage or not.
But meeting him and getting to talk to him was a lot of fun. We talked about what experiences I've had, some of the difficulties I have, mostly transitions from light to dark, and lack of familiarity with the space. He took me on a tour. This did not include the entire space, no catwalks or grid or anything, but I figure I can always ask.
We also talked about how if I wanted to get my hands on some scenery and work for the other td too he thought it should be fine and maybe even doing some set up work for the spartanburg ballet too. Chapman center is pretty cool, in one space there's the little theater and youth theater, a history museum, the spartanburg symphony, the ballet, and some other art stuff. People are always taking classes, there black box space is typically used as classroom space.
So it seems to me that if I hang around there, I could potentially wind up doing a lot of general technician work. Frankly, I'm ok with that. I enjoy working, getting dirty, things being different every day. I figure, something liike this is ok for a while. We'll see what happens.
This past sunday, I got a chance to read the prayers of the people during the 11:15 service. I was nervous beforehand. I got the script friday afternoon and played around with fonts until I found a comfortable one for me. It is a bit sad to realize that now stuff has to be 32pt for me to be comfortable reading, but hey that's good to know I guess.
When I got to church, Rob took me into the Nave and we practiced. He did a great job of making me feel a little more comfortable. It was weird having someone respond to me though. I was nervous but when the time came, it went really well. I found that after the Nicene Creed was finished, in my process of kneeling, I said what I was supposed to in order to get their attention so they knew what page to go to in the bcp. I found that by listening to how I sounded in the space helped me to find a comfortable volume for reading. The prayer was Long. Interestingly, there was a part about asking for the absolution of our sins and offenses and Rob said that because that part was there, we didn't have to say another prayer later. Not sure if I explained that right... oh well.
After the service, I got Lots of complements, lots of hugs, lots of the such an inspiration's. One encounter was funny, someone came up to me and told me that people were asking who it was that read and when told it was me, they asked how I did it. This person's reply was great, "I don't know, she's smart, I'm sure she figured somethign out'. That made my day.
Evidently, my volume was great and everyone could hear, and my voice carries well, who knew.
Overall, it was a great experience, and I feel much prepared to do something a little harder. Rob said that the next step is for me to read the scripture and the psalms. That's a difference between our saviour and st matthews. At our saviour, usually two different people read, but not at st matthews. And when it comes to the psalms, the lector tells the congregation what to do.
There has also been discussion both in my bible study classs where we have communion and between me and Rob that the next step after that should be Chalice bearer. I've done it in class and he explained a little bit about how the training works, so I'm up for it.
So, as you can see, there's a lot of things in the wind, it's just a matter of what happens next.
Hugs to you all!
Nancy
PS: the picture is the theater at the Chapman Cultural Center. I read that it seats 500. The tech booth has a ginormus window and you can see everything on stage, at least as far as I could tell.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
it's a new year
I pray that it be a blessed one for everyone and that God continues to give me nudges here and there as to what he wants me to do.
What I know as of right now.
I have no doubt that I am called by God. The question remains, what is that going to look like? I've come to realize that it's not a horrible thing if I can't answer that question right now.
The thing I do think I know is that while being out in the world and caring for the people at large is a good thing, it is not what I am called to. I really do feel like my caring for a group of people is what I am supposed to do. I think this means in a parish as a priest, but I'm not the only one making that decision.
Where do I stand now? As of this moment, I'm not standing, lol. Sorry, couldn't resist ;) But seriously, there are plans in the works for an internship position. They asked me to not go into great detail to more than just family because we're only in the proposal stage, but I will say it's a paid internship for about six months, the trick is finding me enough to do, to to justify my having this internship.
I'm looking forward to the new possibilities this new year brings. I'm getting more involved at St. Matthew's. Not sure of the date yet, but I am going to be reading the prayers one sunday morning. I'm excited. I had a chance to read before people during my bible study class and having never seen the text before I apparently did very well. Rob said he was impressed. I just figured I'd like to read it how I'd like someone to read it to me, with emotion, enthusiasum, and varrying levels of volume.
I finished the documentary that was on PBS, but I was kind of in a funky mood so I didn't really have the inclination nor the desire to comment at the time. And frankly, I'm not really sure what I got out of the experience. Watching their journeys was certainly interesting, seeing how though they felt called, the real world didn't go anywhere. I guess I never really thought it would, it was just an interesting view. I guess it made the reality of living the life of a clergy person more real.
The discussion they had in one of their seminary classes about self care and how their job is really more of a 24/7 job rather than a 9 to 5 like most people expect. Another thing I've been thinking about and some of this was brought on by my being home a lot over the last month and caring for my sister as well as just sort of being around to help with whatever. I admit, I began to feel very under-appreciated and servant-like. It was more of the fact that I was willing to do whatever but it turned into a situation of it was expected that I would do certain things and rather than asking me to do these things, I was being told to do them. I will admit, that is something that concerns me about the possibility of serving a congregation.
I'm not sure if I wrote about this before or not but if i did, oh well. I exchanged emails with a totally blind priest in florida. I asked him every question I could think of and it was great. He talked about going into hospitals and how despite the laws in place, they don't often allow dogs in patient's rooms.
It's interesting that I've also been bouncing this idea around in my head about the possibility of working in a hospital. I would think clergy, but maybe as a counselor. I don't know why that struck me, but it did. Who knows, maybe it's a God thang. That is something I'm going to find the time to chat with Rob or Charlie, or Rick, or maybe all of the above and see what they know/think. on this idea.
As far as I know, I'm having a Committee meeting on the 4th. I'm glad, it's been a Long time and we need to meet. I don't know what's going to come of this meeting, will we decide to meet again, or will they decide they're ready to make a decision. I'm also supposed to meet with my Spiritual Director in February, I think.
I'm so lucky when it comes to the people I've got supporting me. They're all amazing and I truly know they care.
I wish all the best for everyone in this exciting new year.
Love,
Nancy
What I know as of right now.
I have no doubt that I am called by God. The question remains, what is that going to look like? I've come to realize that it's not a horrible thing if I can't answer that question right now.
The thing I do think I know is that while being out in the world and caring for the people at large is a good thing, it is not what I am called to. I really do feel like my caring for a group of people is what I am supposed to do. I think this means in a parish as a priest, but I'm not the only one making that decision.
Where do I stand now? As of this moment, I'm not standing, lol. Sorry, couldn't resist ;) But seriously, there are plans in the works for an internship position. They asked me to not go into great detail to more than just family because we're only in the proposal stage, but I will say it's a paid internship for about six months, the trick is finding me enough to do, to to justify my having this internship.
I'm looking forward to the new possibilities this new year brings. I'm getting more involved at St. Matthew's. Not sure of the date yet, but I am going to be reading the prayers one sunday morning. I'm excited. I had a chance to read before people during my bible study class and having never seen the text before I apparently did very well. Rob said he was impressed. I just figured I'd like to read it how I'd like someone to read it to me, with emotion, enthusiasum, and varrying levels of volume.
I finished the documentary that was on PBS, but I was kind of in a funky mood so I didn't really have the inclination nor the desire to comment at the time. And frankly, I'm not really sure what I got out of the experience. Watching their journeys was certainly interesting, seeing how though they felt called, the real world didn't go anywhere. I guess I never really thought it would, it was just an interesting view. I guess it made the reality of living the life of a clergy person more real.
The discussion they had in one of their seminary classes about self care and how their job is really more of a 24/7 job rather than a 9 to 5 like most people expect. Another thing I've been thinking about and some of this was brought on by my being home a lot over the last month and caring for my sister as well as just sort of being around to help with whatever. I admit, I began to feel very under-appreciated and servant-like. It was more of the fact that I was willing to do whatever but it turned into a situation of it was expected that I would do certain things and rather than asking me to do these things, I was being told to do them. I will admit, that is something that concerns me about the possibility of serving a congregation.
I'm not sure if I wrote about this before or not but if i did, oh well. I exchanged emails with a totally blind priest in florida. I asked him every question I could think of and it was great. He talked about going into hospitals and how despite the laws in place, they don't often allow dogs in patient's rooms.
It's interesting that I've also been bouncing this idea around in my head about the possibility of working in a hospital. I would think clergy, but maybe as a counselor. I don't know why that struck me, but it did. Who knows, maybe it's a God thang. That is something I'm going to find the time to chat with Rob or Charlie, or Rick, or maybe all of the above and see what they know/think. on this idea.
As far as I know, I'm having a Committee meeting on the 4th. I'm glad, it's been a Long time and we need to meet. I don't know what's going to come of this meeting, will we decide to meet again, or will they decide they're ready to make a decision. I'm also supposed to meet with my Spiritual Director in February, I think.
I'm so lucky when it comes to the people I've got supporting me. They're all amazing and I truly know they care.
I wish all the best for everyone in this exciting new year.
Love,
Nancy
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